Him and Her

Woman: You know all my conversations with him can be managed with a fixed set of responses:

Oh yeah!, Hmmm, Ok, That’s Great, Hmm – Saves me a lot of energy and effort, since I don’t even have to hear what he is saying.

And the best thing is he thinks I am a terrific listener!


Man: You know there is a great match on the telly today

Woman: Oh Yeah!

Man: Tendulkar might be playing today.

Woman: Hmmm

Man: Though bhajji is doubtful

Woman: Ok

Man: Think will get some coke and catch the whole match

Woman: That’s great

Man: I wish they would not give so many advertisements though

Woman: Hmm…

Man: I think Dravid is the man to watch out for this time.

Woman: Hmm..


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Man: You know most of my conversations with her can be managed if I just say You look great and You don’t look fat after every one sentence and Yes, You are Right the rest of the time. That way I never have to hear what she is saying.

Woman: I brought a new dress should I show it to you?

Man: Yes

Woman: Actually I am wearing it – so obviously you did not notice. Do I look fat in it?

Man: You look great.

Woman: I know you are flattering me.

Man: Yes

Woman: Yes????

Man: You don’t look fat at all.

Woman: You know X told me today that I have great taste.

Man: Yes that’s right

Woman: I always manage to pick the right colour and cut.

Man: Yes

Woman: But I still think I look fat in it.

Man: You look great.

Woman: It is the pick of the season.

Man: Yes, you are right as always....

Mars and Venus

Man: We have to go out on Saturday night.

Woman: Oh! shit you should have told me earlier.

Man: It is only Wednesday, 2 full days to go.

Woman: I have nothing to wear

Man: Hey! You have three cupboards full of clothes.

Woman: But they are all useless. Anyway let�s see.

Wednesday Evening: Phone sessions with pals on what to wear.

A quick shopping session to get some clothes.

Thursday: Another shopping session to return the clothes and get a something more appropriate.

Friday Morning: A dekko of the cupboard to see it there is anything worth wearing.

Friday Afternoon� More phone calls and advice from pals.

Woman: A relaxing afternoon nap�.I have it all figured out.

Friday Evening � Panic rising�.

Woman: Do we absolutely have to go out? I have nothing to wear and I am breaking out in a few pimples.

Man: Don�t worry no one will look at you.

Woman: Yeah ok, I feel so wonderful about myself now.

Saturday morning: Panic touches the roof. Frantic discussions with mom, friends and all and sundry on the party at night and the dressing strategy�

Woman: Still no clothes and I am looking fat in most of the ones I have.

Man: hmm�..We need to go by 7.30

6.45 p.m. � 15 clothes tried and discarded

7 p.m.- Frantic rummaging in the suitcase for more clothes, all tried and discarded

The house looks like a war zone with clothes, shoes and bags strewn all around.

Man: Hey hurry up we have to leave.

Woman: I will be back in a sec I have the perfect skirt but X has borrowed the shirt.

Man: Hey you should have planned this earlier. I told you two days ago. Why don�t you wear something else?

Woman: That�s the only dress which does not make me look fat. Will just be gone and back.

7.25: Woman back with 4 more tops and a hectic last minute consultation.

7.45: Man: Hurry up puleez�We need to get there.

7.50: FINALLY

Woman: Dressed and ready to go.

Man: You look great, not fat, tall and all that but Isn�t this the first dress you tried on?

Woman: Oh! Is it? I always make the best choice the first time around! Just needed to confirm it.